Forget Me Not
by MaxStupidity
Summary: Sasuke forgets. Slash  shounen ai  Gen/romance/angst Naruto/Sasuke.


It was during a fatal battle that it happened. Sasuke had come out alive- but he'd stopped remembering.

Naruto was with him upon awaking, holding his hand in one of his and twiddling his thumb or anxiously rubbing his neck with his other. Sasuke had called his name once, sensing his chakra almost immediately - and then again,_"dobe,_" when Naruto had just sat there, shocked in place by the easiness in Sasuke's tone of voice. "What happened?" He'd asked, and Naruto gulped, recalling the way Sasuke's screams had stung him right in the heart - the way he couldn't get to him in time, the way Sasuke's chest was bloodied red and wet with his own wounds. "..Pein," he started, but his voice caught in his throat, rusty and disdainful. "How are you feeling?" He asked instead, edging a little closer to the other boy, carefully sitting by him on the bed - and then froze at his next words. A tired, frowning Sasuke had yawned and asked, almost uninterested - "Who's Pein?"

After a lot of prying and probing, Tsunade, team seven, and a few other officials established that Sasuke didn't remember.  
>Naruto looked at the frowning, pale boy who sat gingerly on his hospital bed, and then sneered. "Well, at least he's not trying to kill me anymore."<br>He gave Sasuke a smile - a weak, tired one - and watched as slowly, one by one, everyone else left the room, stopping at his side to give his shoulders a squeeze or nod and whisper their regards.

Sasuke didn't really know what was going on - then again, he didn't really care. The last thing he remembered was going back to Konoha after his last mission - Sakura and Naruto happily at his side, and Kakashi a few steps ahead of them. Although, looking down at his body, he could tell that a lot of time had passed since then - long years that must have been filled with hard work - and even though he remembered the time spent with his comrades perfectly - remembered the jokes they'd cracked, and the things they'd fought about - there were still little details that he couldn't figure out, like where he lived or whether he'd bypassed Itachi and made his parents proud.

"Naruto," he'd called again - and then suddenly, he found himself in an arm full of orange.

Naruto hugged Sasuke tightly, clutching the other boy as if he was scared of ever letting go - of ever losing Sasuke - and almost passionately - and Sasuke couldn't figure out why. Yet, Naruto's scent struck Sasuke in places he didn't know existed, squeezed at his heart in some form of unpleasant pain, and Sasuke struggled not to yield against it.

"I missed you" Sasuke heard, and only then did he realize that Naruto's chest was heaving slightly, shuddering against him, and then there was a wetness against his neck where Naruto had buried his face. "I'm.. right here." Sasuke answered, and though he didn't really know how, he wound his arms around the other's waist and held him there.

Sasuke could feel Naruto tense under his touch, though he didn't know why. He guessed that they might not have hugged much in the past - then again, his hands seemed to know how to fit into the space of Naruto's back, how to make themselves comfortable against the other boy's spine, and Naruto seemed to know exactly where best to nestle his head in the pale boy's chest.

Eventually, Naruto pushed away, his cheeks flushed and tear-streaked, and sniffed, "you need to rest." All of a sudden, Sasuke realized the pain he was in - a few of his limbs were surely broken, and it hurt a little to breathe. He'd been too preoccupied to notice earlier, but now that he did, he'd also noticed how heavy he was, how he just wanted to fall back in his bed and sleep until forever had passed.

**●•●**

_"Fix him!"_ Naruto yelled, and Sakura screamed back at him, _"I can't."_  
>Naruto huffed then, the tension finally overflowing after what seemed like ages of fighting, and Sakura flung herself at him, hugging and sobbing and breaking as gently as she seldom did. <em>"I'm scared, Naruto."<em> She'd whispered, and Naruto had patted her hair, sighing, _"me too."_

There was a meeting later, and Naruto had argued with the council that Sasuke could not be punished for crimes he does't remember committing.

That night, Naruto had gone back to Sasuke, tired and unsettled by the cold air hospitals always had about them. He'd knocked on Sasuke's door quietly, then walked right in and cuddled into Sasuke's bed with him, holding the paler boy back against his chest. Sasuke dropped the act and stopped pretending he was asleep to nuzzle into Naruto's heat instead, and ask, _"why haven't my parents come to visit me?"_

Naruto seemed to heave at the question, tanned skin shivering as if in anger - or in sorrow, Sasuke couldn't quite tell which. He looked at Sasuke with big blue eyes, gently touching the other's cheeks as if in wonder - or sympathy. "Sasuke.." He'd started, but then stopped, seeming not to have anything else to say. Sasuke found himself understanding Naruto's ways - found himself looking into Naruto's eyes and hearing in them what Naruto couldn't bear to say. He didn't know how, but knew that the answer he had asked for would break him, and that was enough warning to stop pressing. He looked away, disappointed, and then changed direction - "what about Kakashi-sensei? Why doesn't _he_ visit me?"  
>Naruto seemed to hold him tighter at that, and Sasuke realized just how strong the other boy was - just how muscled his arms were and how firm his bones felt. "He will," Naruto whispered, and upon sensing Sasuke's loneliness, repeated, "<em>they all will.<em>"

Sasuke fell asleep in Naruto's arms and had dreams of tailed monsters, raging wars, and death. He'd woken in a start, but it was morning and his bed was warm where Naruto had been. He rubbed sleepily at his eyes and resumed waiting, wondering whether anyone different would show up today.

**●•●**

_"He's still responsible for what he'd done, people still have a bounty on his head, he's a threat."_  
>Naruto's ears rang at the council's words. It was true that Sasuke had betrayed them all - had caused war, and far more pain than it was worth, but that didn't change the fact that he was theirs, and finally where he belonged - with them, again after all the trouble Naruto had gone through chasing.<br>Albeit, if Sasuke did remember, he would try to escape - but that didn't mean they could punish him for flaws he didn't acknowledge.

"What are we going to do?" Sakura had whined, trouble in her features, and Naruto looked down at his shoes and mumbled, "we have to tell him."

"Sasuke-" Naruto visited Sasuke at evening, ready to present the past. "I have to show you something."

Sasuke realized that the atmosphere changed the second they'd stepped outside the hospital building. Konoha brought back friendly memories - of warm summer nights and cuddling against blonde hair and blue eyes - of family that loved and cared and pushed, proud and willing. And yet, Konoha's reality seemed to clash so fiercely with those images - instead of warmth and love, Sasuke found himself facing cold stares and angry whispers, disgust and hating looks. Naruto grasped Sasuke's hand in his, squeezing tightly, and Sasuke's knuckles turned white against his crutches.

They walked through a path Sasuke recognized distinctly, although he couldn't tell why, and kept walking - past rubble and ruins, until Sasuke was no longer familiar with anything at all. For a while, there was nothing but broken buildings and fallen streets, until Sasuke looked - really looked - and spotted his family's crest here and there - carved against the walls and painted against the fronts. Then, Naruto stopped him, pushing a hand against his chest briefly and bringing him down on his knees, head bowed in respect or defeat, and a grief that seemed to shake beyond the pain of reality.  
>Sasuke broke through Naruto's grasp to lift his head slightly and avert his eyes, taking in his surroundings.<p>

It was a bared space, nothing but gravestone after gravestone for miles ahead. Then, Sasuke brought his attention to the tombstones Naruto stopped them at, reading the words carved upon them - and gasped.

There was nothing on the tombstones but a date and their names - "Uchiha Fugaku" on the first, and "Uchiha Mikoto" on the second.  
>He couldn't bring himself to grieve, not when the tombs were faded with age, and the dates upon them were old as time - "Seven? I was<em> seven<em>?" He whispered - not when Naruto was speaking beside him, telling him gently about -  
>"I.. I killed.."<p>

And then Naruto was pressing him against his chest, whispering his name over and over again and saying "please, please don't cry," and Sasuke didn't know that he was until then - didn't know that the tears were burning his skin, that the pain would grasp him so strongly. Naruto cried along with him, threading his fingers into Sasuke's hair and holding him so tightly that Sasuke barely remembered how to breathe.

The rest of the night, Sasuke wouldn't speak. Naruto held his hand and whispered into his skin, but Sasuke didn't seem to hear.

**●•●**

The next morning, Sasuke woke up to Naruto's touch. The blonde was stroking his skin lovingly, the backs of his fingers brushing against Sasuke's skin so gently that Sasuke almost let himself be calmed. When Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes, black and filled with loss, he felt the questions Sasuke held back - the cries he wouldn't let rip. Sasuke looked away, then, not being strong enough to hold his friend's gaze any longer, and said - barely audibly, "tell me about myself."

So Naruto told him. He told Sasuke about the way his eyes could turn blood red, about the way his sorrow overpowered his strength. He told Sasuke about revenge, about the need that encompassed him when he was younger, about his inability to move on, the unease with which he wouldn't let go of Itachi - and the ease with which he forgot about Konoha, and Naruto in turn. He told Sasuke about the few times he would cry, angry and upset with the world, and too proud to let anyone near him for sympathy or comfort.  
>He told Sasuke about the twisted need he had lived with - about all the pain he felt he had to thrive on - the need he no longer understood. He spoke about Sasuke's goals, his hunger for blood, spoke of all the things Sasuke had tried and yearned, about severing bonds and breaking hearts.<p>

It was easy enough to do that - to remind himself of all the reasons Sasuke had drummed into his head, stored into his mind - all the alibis Sasuke had used, shameless excuses fueled by his weakness - his love towards his older brother.

Naruto couldn't tell Sasuke what losing Itachi felt like. He couldn't fill in the gaps when he wasn't there to experience life alongside Sasuke - but instead, he told him of what he did know.

Naruto told Sasuke about his determination. He told him about the way Sasuke used to smile when they were young, the way it would travel from his heart, to his lips, reach his eyes and light up his whole face. He told Sasuke about the things he missed - about how Sasuke loved endlessly, so strong that it's the only thing he knew to do best, as if he was born to it. So strong that he filled up all the space in Naruto's heart, coloured it in shades of blue and taught him how to care, how to_ feel_.

And then, though Sasuke didn't ask, Naruto told him about them.  
>"You used to scowl so much, it was a wonder when you didn't," he laughed, "but we used to bicker all the time, teme. You would yell at me to get lost, and I would tell you that I couldn't." Naruto smiled at that, a small sad smile that told Sasuke his words meant more than he knew.<br>"You were my first bond," Naruto continued, because Sasuke didn't remember - didn't know how special he was.

Naruto's eyes shone with tears that wanted to pool out, but he wouldn't let himself break in front of Sasuke - a part of him yearned and held on to the competitiveness they used to have, the thrill that would have never allowed him to show weakness, but despite his mask, Sasuke saw the sadness. He saw the way the blue of his eyes seemed disturbed by wetness, and he realized that he'd hurt Naruto more than he knew.  
>"I'm sor-"<p>

Naruto cut him off with a kiss - a frantic press of lips against his own. It was just a peck, barely lasting more than a second, but Sasuke's lips stung unpleasantly at Naruto's forward ways, at the way it wasn't soft, or healing, but rather almost unbearably strong. "Don't be," Naruto said, not giving the raven enough time to recover, "a Uchiha never apologizes."

And with that, Naruto was gone.

**●•●**

True to Naruto's word, Kakashi came to visit that afternoon. He carried with him the scent of hard work and old age, though Sasuke hardly remembered the man one to break a sweat, and never a day over twenty five.

The masked man greeted Sasuke with a grunt - and for the first time since he'd forgotten, Sasuke felt angry.

_"I guess I'm not anything to you anymore. So much for caring,"_ Sasuke raged - but was stopped instantly by the look Kakashi gave him.

Kakashi smiled - but it was fake, and Sasuke knew that much. "You didn't even check up on me," Sasuke said, letting his voice drop until only the anger leveled through. He didn't expect it when Kakashi, keeping his calm, looked him in the eye and said "I _tied you to a tree_."

Sasuke knew it was true. Even though he didn't remember the incident, something stirred inside of him at the mention of it, and it burned.

And then, Kakashi sat down on the edge of Sasuke's bed, and spoke.

Kakashi told Sasuke about all of the things Naruto couldn't. While Naruto didn't know of Sasuke's goals until it was too late, Kakashi had always monitored him, had always realized things the other two didn't. Kakashi could even tell Sasuke about Sakura, locking herself in his room for weeks after Sasuke's departure, sobbing endlessly and refusing to come out for anyone - but not because she had lost her childhood crush - rather, she lost a friend, and could do nothing to bring him back.

As Kakashi spoke, Sasuke could grasp images of certain occasions - he started to remember the rush of wanting someone dead, of joining the Akatsuki, of his final attack on Konoha.

Kakashi's voice softened towards the end of their conversation, softer when he said "you fought me, you know," and lifted up his sleeve to reveal a huge purple scar. "You're strong. Your Chidori really has improved, I should've listened when they said you'd be stronger than I expected."  
>Though Kakashi was laughing at the matter, Sasuke began to realize something he hadn't before - the softness at the edges of his eyes, the care that radiated off of him, and he noticed that instead of anger, Kakashi just looked tired - worn out - and though Sasuke didn't remember much at all other than his time spent with Naruto, he wondered whether he'd let Kakashi care for him like this before - the look he was getting from the other so similar to the way his father used to look at Itachi.<p>

**●•●**

When Naruto had gotten back, his eyes were red and swollen, and Sasuke could tell he'd been crying. It hurt to see Naruto that way - it hurt more to know that it was at his expense that Naruto hurt. He opened his arms wide for a hug and Naruto melted into him - Sasuke wanted him there.

Sasuke's voice was soft when finally he spoke, "Kakashi told me," he said, and he felt Naruto tensing in his hold. "How much do you remember?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke answered, "sometimes I think it's better if I don't."

Eventually, Sasuke pulled away enough to unwrap the bandages on his arms and show Naruto the snake bites underneath. "I remember how I got these," he said, quietly, and Naruto nodded, though Sasuke could tell he was angry enough inside - angry at him, for leaving and letting himself get hurt - and angrier at Orochimaru for hurting him.  
>"I remember.." He pushed his shirt down enough to show off his shoulder blades and the curse that marked them. "I remember my time with the Akatsuki. I don't.."<p>

Naruto pushed himself into Sasuke again, asking, "what about us?"  
>Sasuke's voice trembled, and shook his head, <em>no<em>. "Kakashi said I hurt you. In the Valley. I don't remember that or any of our meetings after that," and Sasuke frowned at the thought. He could remember perfectly clear all their times together as children - all of Naruto's happy ways and how good they'd felt together. And yet, any moment they'd spent together after their battle had been clear erased of his memory. It was as if Sasuke didn't want to remember their fights, didn't want to face their arguments any more.

Sasuke wasn't sure whether to go on from there, but he bit his lips a little and then did anyway.  
>"I don't remember when I was seven, either."<br>He had lost the most distinct memory of his years, and he wasn't sure whether he was upset about it or not.

A while later, Naruto spoke up. "We were together," he says suddenly, "for a while. I didn't know you would.." He sighed.  
>"We met up a day before the war happened. You didn't let on." He laughed nervously, and Sasuke could tell he was trying to cover up the pain his betrayal caused the blonde. He frowned, concentrating, but the memories wouldn't find him.<br>"You.." Naruto stuttered, and Sasuke realized he had never seen the other boy look so vulnerable. Naruto's voice dropped to a whisper, but his sky blue eyes caught Sasuke's and held his gaze when he spoke. "You told me you loved me."

**●•●**

Sasuke wanted to bite out, "I meant it." He wanted to swear it upon his life, "I do love you," but he couldn't. He didn't know it was true - didn't know or trust himself enough for it. He spent the night thinking about Naruto even after the blonde had left, kissing Sasuke's forehead gingerly and asking him to get some rest. All he could remember of the blonde were fond memories, and he defied Naruto's request in favour of spending time remembering what he could. At first, he made no progress - remembering only how Naruto made him laugh when no one else could, how Naruto eased away a pain he once drowned under - but as the night grew bolder, the images in his mind strengthened - and he could almost remember the taste of honey and cinnamon flavoured lips against his own - could almost see himself push against the older boy, Chidori clashing against Rasengan and an explosion that left the blonde unconscious.

He could remember the way his heart thundered in his chest that night, the very way the rain fell, cold and unforgiving against their bodies.

Sasuke remembered swearing to himself sometime later, _"I will not fall in love,"_ and _"I will not let my feelings get in the way,"_ and _"I will not care about him this much,_" and finally, _"I hope he will forgive me._"

That night, Sasuke dreamed of opposing powers. He dreamed of tides, orange and blue, and trying not to slip beneath the current although it was a friendly one, and it spoke to him with a whiskered voice, embracing and welcoming. Eventually, he had given up the fight and found himself cuddling a fox form, or resting underneath it while it hovered above him, nipping and scratching and kissing him senseless - and suddenly, it's red eyes were baby blue, and they were young, and Naruto tugged at his hand urgently and begged him to stay.

**●•●**

Naruto was the one who found the bed empty first.

He'd woken late at night - almost early in the morning - and had failed to find rest, giving in instead to twisting and turning, restless, until finally getting up and heading to the hospital.

Naruto knew, long before he'd arrived, that Sasuke was gone.

**●•●**

The search had gone for weeks before the first sighting. Naruto was climbing Konoha's mountains when he'd sensed the familiar presence around him. He'd expected the kunai when it came, almost eager for the touch of cold steel against his neck. He pushed it away almost too easily, turning and finding Sasuke right before him, so that they were face to face, eye to eye, lips to lips, and Sasuke sneered and Naruto thought - _damn_, I _missed_ this.

"Getting a little easy there, aren't we, Sasuke? You better not be losing your touch." Naruto started, and Sasuke just laughed the way he used to - cold and distantly amused. Then, just when Naruto thought he finally had him figured out - or as close to that as he'd ever get, he was an Uchiha, after all - Sasuke's voice turned sweet and sincere, and he said, "I lost a lot of practice time, back in that hospital."

Naruto couldn't hold back a sneer, and spat venom - "it must have been nice to take a break from destroying my home."

Sasuke flung at Naruto, aiming at his lips, but Naruto pushed him away hard enough to send Sasuke a few steps back. Had it been a different time, Naruto would have melted under the hurt look Sasuke let slip for a second, before he hid it with a smirk that didn't quite reach his dark eyes.

"You remember, then." Naruto stated, and Sasuke shrugged, saying, "it'll come."  
>"They're looking for you," Naruto tried again, pretending that he didn't care as much as he did - that he didn't love, that he wouldn't <em>always <em>love - and he knew that he would, even though -  
>"Konoha's my home, Sasuke. Konoha, above anything," but he said it with little voice, as if even then he wasn't quite sure - and he wasn't, not really - it was a choice Sasuke knew he hated making.<p>

It was their final meeting - or would be, for a while - and the two boys knew that was inevitable, no matter how much either of them would try. Sasuke stepped closer to Naruto carefully, and didn't kiss him until he was sure Naruto wouldn't flinch away any more.

"You'd be happy with me, you know, we'd be happy together," Naruto said, with unbidden requests in his eyes, and he wanted to beg again the way he did all those years ago, but he knew he couldn't. Sasuke saw the want in his eyes anyway, and had always been this stubborn.

Naruto didn't let himself cry until Sasuke had gone. Sasuke hadn't let him speak - _"an enemy-_" he'd tried, and _"I'll miss-"_ or _"I can't trust-"_ but Sasuke had stopped him firmly every time, "Naruto," or "dobe," or "idiot," as if it didn't matter that he was breaking his own heart.

This time, Sasuke didn't say that he loved him - and Naruto hadn't wanted him to lie anyway - but Sasuke kissed like he did, and once the boy had gone, Naruto let his hand fly to his lips, numb and swollen, and he'd thought it had all finally come to an end.

Naruto would go back to Konoha and never speak of their encounter, but he wouldn't alter Sasuke's bounty prize either - would let the chase continue and the fight proceed - if only to make sure that Sasuke is still safe and alive. They'd have the chance to redeem themselves, to make up for lost time - but that chance hadn't come yet. Naruto would let himself free, would try his hardest to be unattached, but he knew from experience that it would never work. Sasuke had his opportunity, but not once had his thoughts faltered from his blonde idiot, and not once did Sasuke look at him with lost, blank eyes and ask, "who are you?"  
>It was a natural state of affairs - Sasuke had wanted to forget Itachi, had wanted to forget the way the pain had shook him through and broke into him entirely, but he had never wished to forget Naruto, and Naruto knew that he would rather die than live without knowing his raven. And yet, he was ready - strong or prepared enough to look on to the future, to wait until Sasuke was ready to face his past, and then they'd come together again. And as he watched after his lover, he decided to take the final step, to give Sasuke the freedom to heal, so that Naruto would never become a part of his pain, so that he would never wish to forget his blonde fox, either.<p>

He watched after the fading scent of day and musk of love, and let himself say the two words he had always held himself back from before, and as the day came to a close, he whispered into the night, hoping his soft tone would reach his lover's ears and that he would know that their love would be everlasting, whether or not either of them remembered.

_Goodbye, Sasuke. _


End file.
